By T. W. Parker

Family discipleship is essential because it helps children to grow and become influential/productive adults. Throughout the history of humanity, some families have done well with discipline, and others have not. Fathers play a vital role in the young ones’ discipleship; their job is to develop the child’s emotional and psychological well-being. Likewise, Mothers share the responsibility for instructing their kids; they are nurturers, spirited, understanding, loving, and so much more. When Children get the proper discipleship, it will help them navigate through life and can be rewarding.   

Family discipleship has many phases; the child’s age and stage should determine the discipline and teaching/training methods. Because each child is different, the process in which communication and corrections are given is necessary. For example, little children keep their questions to a minimum; they cannot process lots of material simultaneously. As they mature and grow, it would be wise to introduce them to communities outside the home at this stage of the child’s life. Youth discipleship involves a different strategy; understanding the generations’ differences will help be beneficial or ineffective. John Calvin said, “Let the aged guide the insufficiency of youth with their wisdom and experience wherein they [surpass] the younger, not railing harshly and loudly against them but tempering their severity with mildness and gentleness” (Stinson and Jones 2011, 129).

Instructions for Fathers:

Moreover, the moral collapse of today’s society due to the absence of men in their children’s lives has had devastating long-term effects for generations. Children who grow up fatherless are less likely to become successful in life, with a few exceptions. Some data show that young men raised with no male role model are more inclined to live a life of crime and experiment with drugs at an early age. Likewise, girls absent from their fathers develop emotional disorders that lead to dysfunctional relationships with men throughout their lifetime. “Rohner and Veneziano (2001) reviewed the importance of fathers on children’s development and well-being and found that the role of fatherhood and father love is vital in the psychological development and psychological health of children” (East et al. 2006, 285).    

Fathers provide security by enforcing the household rules, therefore demonstrating their ability to keep the members of the family safe and secure. Furthermore, they must have a positive attitude and be a man of wisdom. They must instruct the children to learn and gain understanding by example. Fathers should avoid yelling out of frustration, being patient, hearing but not listening, and saying “no” more than saying “yes.”

Instructions for Mothers:

The mother is loved and respected; her job is never done; often overwhelmed, she perseveres to the end of the day. The modern mother and wife wear many hats between her career and home; she often finds herself pressed for time. Nevertheless, she is always there to discipline the children, cook, and clean. Mothers are incredible yet imperfect, and the children must know that. Her discipleship with the children will leave a lasting impression and should not be underestimated. Her love cannot be duplicated in its purest form, as no other can take her place. “Mother love has been found to relate to lower risk of developing mood disorders and higher chances of recovery” (Li, Xuan, and Meier 2017, 474).    

Discipline and the courage to lead by example will be required for her children’s discipleship. This behavior shows children that the family is a priority; it develops consistency and helps them make better choices. Mothers also need to set realistic expectations and see family discipleship as a way of life and not a program. Be a guide, not a general. Always speak and teach wisely. Appreciate and bless the children.      

Raising Righteous Kids:

Disciplining children in the culture today is no small task; what can parents do to counter the assault on the family? With the desire to fit in or be popular among their peers’ children feel tremendous pressure to do things that are not right. Fathers and mothers play a significant role in developing their children’s spiritual maturity. How do parents raise happy, competent, and faithful children today? Fortunately, there is help; the Word of God gives counsel to strengthen families and gives instructions on how to build the child up spiritually. The Bible says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). As the Lord’s agents’ parents are to raise their children according to His mandate.  

Spiritual training involves more than just attending church with the children and reading Bible verses. Parents must ensure they live life as they teach it to their kids. Regular prayer is essential, and as the children grow, make it a priority to pray with them. Clarify beliefs, do not pretend to have all the answers, and build on family traditions. Notice the child’s spiritual questions and experiences; everyone has questions relating to spirituality, even children. Answer the child’s questions honestly; this is when the child begins to think abstractly. The child wants a concise understanding of what they are being told. 

The Family and Chruch:

Family discipleship for many believers is based upon a strong relationship between family and church. For the faith-based community, God’s command is for the parents to teach their children about Him. In (Deu. 6:6-9), God’s people were responsible for meditating on these commandments. The meditation enabled them to understand the law and apply it correctly. Then the parents were able to impress them with the children also. Today, the church also plays a role in the discipleship of the children. “As children grow older, we can include songs, stories, games, and occasional words from other cultures. They can begin to recognize how their talents can be used to help others and learn to manage their time in ways that God would like” (Halverson 1998, 33).

The Church is essential for the social development of the child. Because all children emotionally connect with their surroundings and derive meaning from the world around them, these sensibilities begin to be shaped more formally, primarily by the family and the broader communities. Religion influences children in the social and cultural institutions in which they participate. “Churches’ organizational structure may make them more effective than schools at providing children with long-term, intergenerational relationships” (Smith and Crosby 2016, 425).

It Will-Affect Behavior:

However, whether the child is in a Christian community or not, family discipleship will have a lasting effect on the child’s success. Most children who can be discipled know what profession they want to enter when they reach college. When they reach high school, the idea of what career to pursue is already locked in their minds. Also, family discipled children have adopted their community and family’s beliefs, values, and behaviors. However, there are exceptions; morally, these children grow up committed to the standards instilled in them. Furthermore, “How does technology, social media, in all its various forms, influence the lives of teens and emerging adults? Research into the technological habits of teens and emerging adults reveals just how profoundly influential technology is in the lives of American youth” (Baker 2017, 118).   

First, teenagers are among the most expensive users of social network sites. Studies have found that teens spend much time interacting on the web. The main question is what kind of social communities they engage in. The frequent use of social media among young adults and teens has fewer positive consequences. For example, cyberbullying, negative self-image, and body image, and less time doing healthy, positive things. The agreement can be made that most home-disciplined kids would not participate in such behavior.   

It Can Be Rewarding:

The parents who discipline their children find that it can be rewarding. As repetitive as parenting can be, knowing that someone depends on you is rewarding. They have someone who values and appreciates what they do for them. Watching the little ones grow into teens and young adults brings smiles to their faces. Leading and guiding the kids through new experiences will always be cherished. Family discipleship encourages good choices; it teaches kids alternative ways to meet their needs. Discipleship fosters independence, responsibility, and self-discipline. “The likelihood of becoming a Christian is highest during the school-age years, diminishing significantly after that” (Cox and Peck 2018, 245).      

Discipleship is costly, but in the end, the rewards can be manifested for generations to come. Proper discipleship leads to self-motivation, self-control, and emotional stability. Discipline is a foundation for understanding the consequences of making behavioral decisions and establishing lasting personality traits. Moreover, “Serving provides opportunities for children to take on new responsibilities, learn the value of completing tasks, and work with people of all ages” (Carr 2017, 358). 

Conclusion:

Throughout humanity’s history, parents have been responsible for disciplining their children. Parents who choose not to often see the consequences of preteen years into early adulthood spiral out of control. Children’s behavior will depend on the discipline in the home and how early the training starts. Family discipleship requires consistency and a strategy. It takes advantage of the small and large interactions the family encounters to impart the parents’ fundamental views. For most parents, the results are manifested throughout the years as the children grow and mature. The most physical appearance is that most of those who experience being family disciples are more stable in their adult lives and lifestyles. “Our children are like whiteboards longing for us to write things they can circle later, to which they can keep referring time and again” (Rush, 2011). 

Bibliography 

Baker, Samuel. “Who is Shaping Whom? Digital Disruption in the Spiritual Lives of Post-familial Emerging Adults”, Journal of Youth and Theology 16, 2 (2017): 117–143. 

Carr, Jane. “EQUIPPING KIDS FOR MINISTRY.” Christian Education Journal 14, no. 2 (Fall, 2017): 350-60. 

Cox, William F. Jr., and Robert A. Peck. “Christian Education as Discipleship Formation.” Christian Education Journal 15, no. 2 (08, 2018): 243–61. 

East, Leah, Debra Jackson, and Louise O’Brien. “Father Absence and Adolescent Development: A Review of the Literature.” Journal of Child Health Care 10, no. 4 (December 2006): 283–95.  

Erin I. Smith, Robert G. Crosby, unpacking religious affiliation: Exploring associations between Christian children’s religious, cultural context, God image, and self‐esteem across development, British Journal of Developmental Psychology, (2016): 76–90.  

Halverson, Delia. “Discipling Congregations.” The Clergy Journal 74, no. 8 (07, 1998): 32.  

Li, Xuan, and Jason Meier. 2017. “Father Love and Mother Love: Contributions of Parental Acceptance to Children’s Psychological Adjustment.” Journal of Family Theory & Review 9 (4): 459–90. 

Liberty University Custom: Rush, Ryan. Walls. Nashville, TN: Lifeway Church Resources, 2011. 

Liberty University Custom: Stinson, Randy, and Timothy P. Jones. eds. Trained in the Fear of God. Nashville, TN: Lifeway Church Resources, 2011.